Sober living

Im Sober and My Spouse Is Not Marriage and Sobriety

Another big challenge of being married to someone who is not sober is avoiding codependency. When one spouse is struggling with addiction, it’s easy for the other spouse to become overly involved in their recovery. This can lead to codependency, which is when one person becomes too reliant on another for their emotional needs. While it’s important to be supportive, it’s also important to maintain your own sense of self-worth and independence. It can also be challenging to deal with the negative impact addiction has on your relationship.

Rebuilding Trust (One Day at a Time)

While alcoholism might have been an unwelcome guest in your marriage, it doesn’t have to overstay its welcome. You have the power to overcome its challenges, rebuild trust, and nurture a healthier, happier relationship. In conclusion, alcoholism can indeed cast a long, dark shadow on marriage, yet it doesn’t mark the end of the story. For the non-alcoholic spouse, self-care and support are just as vital. In navigating these turbulent waters, resources like Al-Anon, a support group for family and friends of alcoholics, can provide much-needed understanding and encouragement. The effects of a spouse’s alcohol misuse extend beyond the marital relationship.

The sober partner isn’t dependent on the other to maintain their sobriety. They have other sources of support.

Consider seeking mental health support for yourself. A therapist can help you learn more about the role you may have played in a codependent relationship and learn healthier patterns. According to 2018 research, supportive relationships with family, spouses, and sponsors help those working toward sobriety sustain their recovery. It may require an intentional and lengthy process for both partners to learn how to rebuild trust within the relationship. These mental health symptoms can last longer than the withdrawal period, especially if the person with SUD hasn’t learned healthy coping mechanisms to deal with unwanted feelings.

marriage changes after sobriety

Addiction Treatment Services

When one partner is an active addict, a healthy marriage or relationship is virtually impossible. Addiction shatters some of the most important components of a strong marriage, including trust, intimacy, and communication. Living with an alcoholic or drug addict also means the addiction will come first for your spouse, even before the marriage. A crucial aspect of recovery lies in rebuilding the trust corroded by alcohol addiction.

Even with sobriety, alcohol dominates marriage – Detroit Free Press

Even with sobriety, alcohol dominates marriage.

Posted: Thu, 11 May 2023 07:00:00 GMT [source]

An outpatient program can be especially helpful as couples navigate their relationship during this newfound phase of sobriety. The patterns and interactions that were established during addiction are basically obliterated. A husband who used to stay out late drinking will now be spending much more time at home. A wife previously addicted to painkillers to numb difficult emotions or situations will now have to deal with them head-on, without the aid of substances. Codependent behaviors that used to be the norm are disrupted as couples stop playing the roles of addict and enabler and have to find their way back to the roles of spouses. Finally, trust between couples may have been broken during addiction if a partner lied about substance abuse and the process to rebuild it may not always be smooth.


  • In addictions counseling I frequently hear outrage that, “My partner still doesn’t trust me!
  • Search out books and marriage courses to learn the communication and conflict resolution skills for marriage partnership.
  • They are generally impulsive, impatient, and very moody.
  • After graduating a year-long program, Lyle felt compelled to give back and began doing service work.
  • How you handle these situations makes all the difference.

Get to know the “new” version of your spouse (or help your spouse become acquainted with the “new” you). Patiently work on rebuilding communication, trust, support, respect, and intimacy. It’s important to remember that while the journey may be challenging, you’re not alone.

marriage changes after sobriety

Alcoholism and The Elderly

These days, unless I’m feeling generous, I simply say, “I don’t drink,” and leave it at that. Many patients don’t realize the toxicity of prolonged alcohol abuse and how it affects the body. Alcohol detox at the luxurious rehab addiction centers at Gratitude Lodge leeches your body of these toxins in preparation for successful treatment for drugs and alcohol abuse. Alcohol detox may not take as long or produce severe withdrawal symptoms, but it is still an essential beginning to your recovery.

Substance Use Treatment

marriage changes after sobriety

One is selfish, needy, vulnerable, and used to being given, while the other is over-responsible self-sufficient, and loves by providing. Sobriety topples these roles, and the partners realize they don’t even know how to talk to each other. marriage after sobriety Blame games start with every partner feeling sorry for themselves, shame, and guilt. They feel they are not enough or wanted once the former addict becomes a full functioning independent adult and may walk out of the marriage.

The Path to Recovery: Hard but Worth It

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